Monday, December 23, 2013
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Kinda funny..
How sometimes you want something or think about someone so much, that all you do is dream about it. At first you wake up filled with happiness and hope. You dream that someday you'll be able to have that thing that you so desire. Eventually, you wake up knowing that once again it was only a dream, and that dream begins to turn into a nightmare. You realize that no matter how much you dream of it, you'll never have that which you want. Partly because you are scared to try and get it, partly because you don't know how or where to begin. I think it's kinda funny. Sad maybe. But funny.
Monday, November 18, 2013
I'm Back
Its funny how much stuff you forget about as time goes on. I've spent a few hours today just looking back at old posts and just laughing at my 20-21 year old mindset or being bummed on stupid stuff I've done (but gladly learned from) or remembered not doing (even though I wanted to). I'm really glad I started this blog when I did. The last three years were such a weird time. I grew and learned a lot about life and people and friends, made a heck ton of mistakes, made some really good friends and even lost a few friends. It's really cool to look back and refresh. Granted there's stuff that's happened that I will be perfectly okay never remembering (like getting drunk and puking all over a bed..and floor..and hair..and clothes..let's just say everywhere..twice) and other stuff I could never forget no matter how hard I tried and of course wouldn't want to forget (like my first summer at Woodward).
So now I'm back. I think I'll stick around and keeping doing this bloggy stuff just as a way to remember. Remembering is fun. Most of the time. I don't remember how long it's been since I wrote on this thing (I could check but that takes time) but it's been a while. I'm now 23, almost done with school, have less of an idea of what I want to do with life, have a somewhat better taste in music, no longer dress in just shades of black, am vegan (almost a year now), no longer skateboard (got knee surgery nov 2012, re-injured it this past summer at camp..I think my board is in Cass' trunk), started surfing, haven't had time to read a good book in months, still have the same backpack, boys are a still a mystery, have three tattoos, still don't wear earrings, have a bookshelf in my room, am probably failing organic chemistry, and still live in Florida.
This last summer was a pretty great one. Cass and I decided to drive her car out to camp instead of fly, so we could have a car. Having a car was really cool. But I feel like all we used it for was to go into town to do laundry and get food. I feel like I got fatter. I did. (I'm losing it now, but it always goes away slower than it comes on.) The only sucky thing about having a car at camp was not being able to skate down from hilltop. Which considering I had had knee surgery done quite recently was probably a good thing. I guess we could've but when you have a car it's easy to get lazy.
We left on May 5th (I think) and started out our journey at like 4 am because we just couldn't sleep. I packed so much fruit it was insane how long it lasted. We had bikes, boards, blades, pillows, blankets, food and clothes all packed into her little hyundai. If it got messy it felt cramped, but we are so organized that it didn't get super cramped and we didn't go crazy. The first stop was in Texas with my aunts and uncle. We stayed at my uncle's place two nights so we could skate in Houston. We skated a park that started with a J and Southside (where, I just learned, the Johnny Romano skate event is held).Southside was fun. I still wasn't supposed to be skating when we went, but I stepped on my board and pushed around for a little and it felt so good to be back on a skateboard.
Next we stayed with our trainer friend Monica in Lubbock, Texas for a night. We got to see the Texas Tech campus, got Chipotle and went to this kinda run down indoor park that I can't remember the name of. Around the indoor park there were abandoned buildings/warehouses that I was completely creeped out by. We walked around inside of a few of them and kicked tumbleweeds. At one point I got separated from Cass and ended up sitting back by the car, completely weirded out. I left my phone in the car, which was locked, didn't know where Cass was and if she was alright (maybe the ghost got her), didn't know what time it was, was starting to get hungry...It was just all around bad. Those 15 minutes felt like 45. Eventually we met back up, got kinda reprimanded for going in the buildings by some toothless guy and were on our way.
Next place we stayed at was in NM with a girl Cass had gotten in touch with through couchsurfing.com. She was deaf, Buddhist, and vegan. She was super welcoming and had the best vegan bread I had ever tasted up until that point! I think it was blueberry or something berry like.
Next stop...Arizona!!! I love Arizona. I think it's the weather, combined with the smell of the air, combined with good memories, mountains, pretty sunsets, Venezia's, cacti, and just the vibes. I don't even know. I just love everything about it. I'm thinking I'll end up living there someday. Anyway... we stayed with Chase K and her family. I didn't know Chase that well before this trip. (I think I was always hanging out with a different camp crew) I knew she was the arts and crafts lady, was Tyler's sister, was cool with Cass and lived in AZ (a huge plus in my book) so she was cool. We lurked in Glendale, had artichoke hearts, went to little sister choir concerts, ate burritos, had beans and rice at a chicken and waffles place, went rock climbing, went to Tempe park and the wedge, had Venezia's, witnessed corgi flops into a pool, sang songs in the car, broke down on the side of the road, went to the Grand Canyon, watched candle making in Sedona, got dirt shirts and kokopelli socks, had Mother's day and did a bunch of other cool stuff.
From there we went to San Diego and stayed at the Bladie house for I think two nights. Cruised San Diego late at night with our tour guide Melissa, and then skated parks in the area the next day. (if you've forgotten by now, I wasn't able to skate at this time, so parks were kinda the least memorable part of this trip, at least for me) We went to this mexican-ish place for lunch one of the days called Rancho Cocina , maybe, and they had so many vegan options. I got a burrito and then dessert "for later." I ate it in the car. It was a huge vegan cinnamon roll. It was super glazed and super gooey and super perfect. Later we went to Escondido which was cool, but I was too full to move so it was all a blur.
Last stop on our east to west summer tour was San Jose. We stayed with Cass' cousins but mostly hung out with another one of our campy trainer friends, Patrick. He's a bmxer, vegetarian, high school athletic trainer, super punny. (see what I did there?) He's an all around great guy. I think I've known him for about three years and I think he loves burritos almost as much, if not more, than I do. He took us to this one burrito place that had orange sauce. It was vegan; it said it on the bottle. I have no clue what is in the orange sauce, but it is seriously addicting. I could put that stuff on a shoe and it would taste good. Spicy but not I need water spicy. Just a 'I need more' kind of spicy. This whole trip we had burritos. It was awesome. I don't really remember the parks we went to. I know Pat took us to a bunch of parks and I had a blast at each and every one, but at this point we had been on our trip for about 15 days and wanted nothing more than a day off. I was so tired and just wanted a bed to call my own and a nice long shower. I remember one with big trees, another one that we thought would be better than it was (Antioch?), Cunningham, and Sunnyvale. I know I'm missing a bunch but like I said.. Oh and we went to a farmer's market we had been to the year before. I think we all had naan wraps. Naan wraps are basically Indian burritos. Again, sticking with the burrito theme. I bought fresh, juicy, deliciously sweet strawberries. They were amazing. Pat bought nuts. I think they were cinnamon covered almonds. Sometime that day I think it sounded like I called him fat. I definitely didn't. It just sounded like I did.
We eventually made it to camp. By the time we made it I wanted nothing more than to unpack, take a warm shower in a shower with a good shower head, and see nothing but the inside of my eyelids. I might have done that stuff but I was too tired to make a mental note of what I actually did.
So now I'm back. I think I'll stick around and keeping doing this bloggy stuff just as a way to remember. Remembering is fun. Most of the time. I don't remember how long it's been since I wrote on this thing (I could check but that takes time) but it's been a while. I'm now 23, almost done with school, have less of an idea of what I want to do with life, have a somewhat better taste in music, no longer dress in just shades of black, am vegan (almost a year now), no longer skateboard (got knee surgery nov 2012, re-injured it this past summer at camp..I think my board is in Cass' trunk), started surfing, haven't had time to read a good book in months, still have the same backpack, boys are a still a mystery, have three tattoos, still don't wear earrings, have a bookshelf in my room, am probably failing organic chemistry, and still live in Florida.
This last summer was a pretty great one. Cass and I decided to drive her car out to camp instead of fly, so we could have a car. Having a car was really cool. But I feel like all we used it for was to go into town to do laundry and get food. I feel like I got fatter. I did. (I'm losing it now, but it always goes away slower than it comes on.) The only sucky thing about having a car at camp was not being able to skate down from hilltop. Which considering I had had knee surgery done quite recently was probably a good thing. I guess we could've but when you have a car it's easy to get lazy.
We left on May 5th (I think) and started out our journey at like 4 am because we just couldn't sleep. I packed so much fruit it was insane how long it lasted. We had bikes, boards, blades, pillows, blankets, food and clothes all packed into her little hyundai. If it got messy it felt cramped, but we are so organized that it didn't get super cramped and we didn't go crazy. The first stop was in Texas with my aunts and uncle. We stayed at my uncle's place two nights so we could skate in Houston. We skated a park that started with a J and Southside (where, I just learned, the Johnny Romano skate event is held).Southside was fun. I still wasn't supposed to be skating when we went, but I stepped on my board and pushed around for a little and it felt so good to be back on a skateboard.
Next we stayed with our trainer friend Monica in Lubbock, Texas for a night. We got to see the Texas Tech campus, got Chipotle and went to this kinda run down indoor park that I can't remember the name of. Around the indoor park there were abandoned buildings/warehouses that I was completely creeped out by. We walked around inside of a few of them and kicked tumbleweeds. At one point I got separated from Cass and ended up sitting back by the car, completely weirded out. I left my phone in the car, which was locked, didn't know where Cass was and if she was alright (maybe the ghost got her), didn't know what time it was, was starting to get hungry...It was just all around bad. Those 15 minutes felt like 45. Eventually we met back up, got kinda reprimanded for going in the buildings by some toothless guy and were on our way.
Next place we stayed at was in NM with a girl Cass had gotten in touch with through couchsurfing.com. She was deaf, Buddhist, and vegan. She was super welcoming and had the best vegan bread I had ever tasted up until that point! I think it was blueberry or something berry like.
Next stop...Arizona!!! I love Arizona. I think it's the weather, combined with the smell of the air, combined with good memories, mountains, pretty sunsets, Venezia's, cacti, and just the vibes. I don't even know. I just love everything about it. I'm thinking I'll end up living there someday. Anyway... we stayed with Chase K and her family. I didn't know Chase that well before this trip. (I think I was always hanging out with a different camp crew) I knew she was the arts and crafts lady, was Tyler's sister, was cool with Cass and lived in AZ (a huge plus in my book) so she was cool. We lurked in Glendale, had artichoke hearts, went to little sister choir concerts, ate burritos, had beans and rice at a chicken and waffles place, went rock climbing, went to Tempe park and the wedge, had Venezia's, witnessed corgi flops into a pool, sang songs in the car, broke down on the side of the road, went to the Grand Canyon, watched candle making in Sedona, got dirt shirts and kokopelli socks, had Mother's day and did a bunch of other cool stuff.
From there we went to San Diego and stayed at the Bladie house for I think two nights. Cruised San Diego late at night with our tour guide Melissa, and then skated parks in the area the next day. (if you've forgotten by now, I wasn't able to skate at this time, so parks were kinda the least memorable part of this trip, at least for me) We went to this mexican-ish place for lunch one of the days called Rancho Cocina , maybe, and they had so many vegan options. I got a burrito and then dessert "for later." I ate it in the car. It was a huge vegan cinnamon roll. It was super glazed and super gooey and super perfect. Later we went to Escondido which was cool, but I was too full to move so it was all a blur.
Last stop on our east to west summer tour was San Jose. We stayed with Cass' cousins but mostly hung out with another one of our campy trainer friends, Patrick. He's a bmxer, vegetarian, high school athletic trainer, super punny. (see what I did there?) He's an all around great guy. I think I've known him for about three years and I think he loves burritos almost as much, if not more, than I do. He took us to this one burrito place that had orange sauce. It was vegan; it said it on the bottle. I have no clue what is in the orange sauce, but it is seriously addicting. I could put that stuff on a shoe and it would taste good. Spicy but not I need water spicy. Just a 'I need more' kind of spicy. This whole trip we had burritos. It was awesome. I don't really remember the parks we went to. I know Pat took us to a bunch of parks and I had a blast at each and every one, but at this point we had been on our trip for about 15 days and wanted nothing more than a day off. I was so tired and just wanted a bed to call my own and a nice long shower. I remember one with big trees, another one that we thought would be better than it was (Antioch?), Cunningham, and Sunnyvale. I know I'm missing a bunch but like I said.. Oh and we went to a farmer's market we had been to the year before. I think we all had naan wraps. Naan wraps are basically Indian burritos. Again, sticking with the burrito theme. I bought fresh, juicy, deliciously sweet strawberries. They were amazing. Pat bought nuts. I think they were cinnamon covered almonds. Sometime that day I think it sounded like I called him fat. I definitely didn't. It just sounded like I did.
We eventually made it to camp. By the time we made it I wanted nothing more than to unpack, take a warm shower in a shower with a good shower head, and see nothing but the inside of my eyelids. I might have done that stuff but I was too tired to make a mental note of what I actually did.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
I love
Fruit. Going to school. Playing the piano. People that have been with me and supported me during tough times. My family. My friends. Reading books. Laughing. Sunny days. The beach. The sound of trains going by. Being happy. Being alive.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Summer's done. Here I am, sitting at the airport, reflecting on everything that happened this summer.
This summer had its ups and downs, for sure. I had a blast for the most part. I met a bunch of new people and had the opportunity to get to know people better. I was able to learn a lot from a few people. One of the most important lessons I learned this summer is that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. I've been told that time and time again and I think, after hearing it from a friend this summer, it's finally beginning to stick. I've learned that friends have your back when stuff is rough and that life should be enjoyed, not endured. If you're not happy with something in your life you have the ability to change it or leave it behind and be happy. I also learned a lot about anger. I am not usually someone that gets easily offended or hurt because I am able to brush away most things, but this summer I spent a few days angry beyond belief for something that to that other person was most likely of no importance. The other person probably doesn't even realize how upset I was. At one point I took a step back, realized that I was letting my anger ruin what was supposed to be a good time at what I consider to be my favorite place, and decided to let it all go. Being angry doesn't do anyone any good. It just makes you feel sick and unhappy and turns you into a person that other people dont want to be around. I read a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley the other day that pretty much sums up what I learned about anger.
"So many of us make a great fuss of matters of small consequence. We are so easily offended. Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way.Grudges, if left to fester, can become serious maladies. Like a painful ailment they can absorb all of our time and attention."
Part of me is relieved to be going home. It's kind of like a fresh new start. I'll get to eat all the fruit I want to eat, get healthy, and exercise. I'll be going to school and hopefully getting all of that done this year. I'll be getting knee surgery and have time to recover. In the time that I'm a cripple I'll have time to learn something. I'm thinking I'll probably start playing the piano again. I'll be able to read a lot, especially my first semester. It sounds dumb, but I'll be able to figure out who I am and what I hope to get out of this life. I feel like I have a lot of soul searching to do this winter.
This might or might not be my last post for a while. Facebook is getting deleted here pretty soon. Pictures are the only thing I care about saving and as soon as those are backed up, I'm out of the social networking thing. Id rather hear someone's voice or read a letter they took the time out to write than spend countless hours on a computer indoors when the weather outside is magnificent. This summer was an awesome break from a computer and I felt a lot better and I'd like to keep feeling good.
Anyway, despite everything that happened, summer was good. Fun. Relaxing. A break from real life. I haven't left and I already can't wait to get back to Woodward next summer.
This summer had its ups and downs, for sure. I had a blast for the most part. I met a bunch of new people and had the opportunity to get to know people better. I was able to learn a lot from a few people. One of the most important lessons I learned this summer is that you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. I've been told that time and time again and I think, after hearing it from a friend this summer, it's finally beginning to stick. I've learned that friends have your back when stuff is rough and that life should be enjoyed, not endured. If you're not happy with something in your life you have the ability to change it or leave it behind and be happy. I also learned a lot about anger. I am not usually someone that gets easily offended or hurt because I am able to brush away most things, but this summer I spent a few days angry beyond belief for something that to that other person was most likely of no importance. The other person probably doesn't even realize how upset I was. At one point I took a step back, realized that I was letting my anger ruin what was supposed to be a good time at what I consider to be my favorite place, and decided to let it all go. Being angry doesn't do anyone any good. It just makes you feel sick and unhappy and turns you into a person that other people dont want to be around. I read a quote by Gordon B. Hinckley the other day that pretty much sums up what I learned about anger.
"So many of us make a great fuss of matters of small consequence. We are so easily offended. Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way.Grudges, if left to fester, can become serious maladies. Like a painful ailment they can absorb all of our time and attention."
Part of me is relieved to be going home. It's kind of like a fresh new start. I'll get to eat all the fruit I want to eat, get healthy, and exercise. I'll be going to school and hopefully getting all of that done this year. I'll be getting knee surgery and have time to recover. In the time that I'm a cripple I'll have time to learn something. I'm thinking I'll probably start playing the piano again. I'll be able to read a lot, especially my first semester. It sounds dumb, but I'll be able to figure out who I am and what I hope to get out of this life. I feel like I have a lot of soul searching to do this winter.
This might or might not be my last post for a while. Facebook is getting deleted here pretty soon. Pictures are the only thing I care about saving and as soon as those are backed up, I'm out of the social networking thing. Id rather hear someone's voice or read a letter they took the time out to write than spend countless hours on a computer indoors when the weather outside is magnificent. This summer was an awesome break from a computer and I felt a lot better and I'd like to keep feeling good.
Anyway, despite everything that happened, summer was good. Fun. Relaxing. A break from real life. I haven't left and I already can't wait to get back to Woodward next summer.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
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