Suuuuuuureee just go ahead and change the date of my exam, that I've been prepared for, for the last two weeks. And yes, yesterday is the perfect day to reschedule it to.

Thanks.

Alright, alright, I'm coming. Get ready ladies!

It's really difficult for me to try to imagine not going to Woodward for a summer, even if just for one week. I can't remember what I did before going to camp. I watched this today and almost cried at the thought of not going. So I'm coming. Most likely not working. But definitely coming.

I came across this little gem on the tumblrsphere like five minutes ago. Watch it. Or don't. but if you don't you're missing out. And if you do, you're welcome.

Dime: The Yellow T-shirt History from Dime Mtl on Vimeo.

Mom: When you come back from Arizona, I'm going to weigh five pounds less.

Me: When I come back from Arizona, I'm going to weigh ten pounds more.

Today and yesterday

Today…is great. Nothing spectacular happened. But maybe that's why it's so great. Everything is normal. I'm alive, my family is well, I'm almost done with this semester, I ate good food.

I heard this on the radio today..

...I'm still a fan.

I went surfing yesterday. So. much. fun. I can't even. Paddling and standing on a hard piece of whatever a surfboard is made out of, into what seems like a huge drop is simultaneously the most exciting and terrifying thing ever. For that half a second your stomach is in your throat and you just feel like you're flying. It's so great. I got my first baby barrel too. It probably looked a lot cooler in my head. If I wasn't hooked on it before I definitely am now. I pretty much want to live on the beach.

Life is sorta hard. Kinda funny how many people can agree with that. I wonder if it's supposed to be hard or if we just make it that way. Is there a such thing as caring too much? Is that possible? Isn't caring kinda what makes us human? Sometimes I wonder what my dog thinks. I wonder if she thinks we're all crazy. 

These are a couple of rad thoughts from what seems like a rad blog. Such true words. Stuff even I have experienced along the way. 

... It is okay to leave anyone and anything and anyplace that makes you feel like shit.  It’s hard, but it’s okay.  And fuck explaining anything to anyone, unless you want to.  Let them fucking wonder.

...Empathy is built.  You need to learn to really listen.  This means listening without thinking about how it relates to you, or planning the next thing you are going to say.  This means seeing everyone, regardless of who they are, as a human being.  You cannot really be a human being unless you regard everyone as such, even your greatest nemeses and the gravest perpetrators.  All of our damage comes from somewhere.  Yours and everyone else’s.  Learn to listen to others.  Learn to listen to yourself.  Empathy cannot exist without really, deeply listening first.

 ...You are going to have moments of unbearable pain.  It takes time to learn how to heal yourself.  And healing sometimes still leaves scars.  Healing is sometimes incomplete.  Think of your scars as battle-wounds – evidence of how much wiser you are now- maps of where not to return.  Cherish these scars and honor them.  There will come times when they are the only reminder of where you have been, and how much you still need to grow.

...You are going to have moments of unbearable loneliness.  You need to learn how to love being with yourself, because ultimately, no one has the potential to love you like you can.  It is beautiful to love and be loved, but these are just hints as to how to regard yourself.  If you regard yourself highly, and learn to turn loneliness into soothing solitude, you will be capable of giving and receiving truly transformative love.

...Find something that makes you feel like the world makes sense, even if you can’t justify it intellectually to yourself or anyone else. 

... Only walk with those who will walk side by side with you, as an equal.

 ...Do not fuck with lovers that don’t prioritize your pleasure.  That can look like a lot of different things, and you’re probably still figuring it out.  Don’t put up with lovers that don’t give you room to explore, to express, and above all – if a lover is only focused on using you as a vessel to reach their plateau –be out.  This doesn’t mean to ignore your partner’s pleasure, but rather to see yours as of equal worth.

 ...You are not responsible for the actions of those who hated themselves so much that they hurt you on purpose.

 ...Do not carry broken people who are not in the process of rebuilding themselves.

...You are not your job.  Your job is simply a paycheck, and you are probably not compensated what you are worth and it is not your fucking fault- you inherited a broken economic system, and you will not be the first generation to fight for your right to live.  But you need to fucking fight for your right to live, in solidarity, with those around you who are also struggling.

...Going to college is an accomplishment.  It does not, however, make you better than anyone else.  It doesn’t make you essentially more intelligent.  You never really make it “out” of the class you came from, and you never really make it “in” to the class you aspired to.

...You are inherently valuable.  You have worth.  Ask no one for permission for this.

I wish I had the right words to fully describe to you how much I DON'T want to study right now. Everything else has become a thousand times more important than learning this material.

That mosquito that's flying around my ear and my desire to annihilate it are way more important than MRE B. 

My cat trying to lay on my pillow and having to move her every time she does? Way more important than replicating cells.

My upcoming Arizona vacay: so much more important than divisomes.

The fact that I didn't get a chance to go to the gym today and I haven't done any arm stuff in a week: infinitely more important that Min E and its function.

My procrastinating skills: much more powerful than FtsZ's effect on a cell.

This blog post complaining about not wanting to study for my exam tomorrow: way more interesting than peptidoglycan synthesis.

I just want this semester to be over. I want to just have a lame-o job that I don't have to think about 24 hours a day. Do it for eight hours, collect my money, and go do something fun. I want to go hiking, or surfing, or take a nice long walk by a lake, walk around town taking pictures, go skating, ride a bike, post more stuff on this bloggy, tutor more kids, garden more, go to farmers markets, learn a new language, go roller skating, spend time with my family, hang out with friends, go on a trip, move to Arizona, eat pizza, go to the gym more, draw a pretty picture, read a good book, or make a new friend.   I don't think I'm meant to go to school. At least not now. Maybe someday in the future.. Right now I just want to have fun! Where you at fun?

Maggy's Spring Break 2014

Maggy, an old friend from camp, came to visit us and we had a blast! We went to Islands of Adventure, saw a bunch of movies and went to the beach. Islands of Adventure was pretty rad. I drank soda aka butter beer for the first time in a very,very,very long time. It was amazing. I was pretty skeptical at first, but it was so good. Probably my favorite thing at Universal. I had three. I pretty much need the recipe now. 

 I pretty much just took a bunch of random pictures all weekend. Except at the beach. Somehow I forgot to take some at the beach. 

 Big head puking out water

 Poseidon hand!

 There's the butter beer cart! So amazing. From what I hear it's like crack. I mean I've never had crack but I hear it's pretty addicting. Just like butter beer.

 Hogwarts

 Hogwarts Pt. 2. I really like how the people that built this played with perspective. The castle seems bigger than it really is because of the windows. Pretty rad.

 Hands down my favorite part of the park (besides the butter beer) was Toon Lagoon. I'm a huge fan of drawing and comics and to see them life-size was so cool! I wish every building in real life looked like the buildings here. 

 Maggy and Cass have their own speech bubbles

 Isn't he just adorable?!

 "Maggy! You're not supposed to laugh!"

 "Good pose, good pose."

I like visits from friends. Sometimes I wish we could all live in a camp type setting, but in the real world, where we can be neighbors and all hang out but have real jobs. And see each other everyday and do fun things like this all the time. Maybe someday...

If you are a loyal follower of this blog, then you know that a couple weeks ago I took a trip up to NJ/NY/Philly for spring break. If you didn't know, now you do. Well, this is a silly little video, I finally finished, of the trip.

Hating you won't make you suck any less

My new favorite song!! It's so good! It's been on repeat for like an hour now all day. Listen, listen, listen!

Have you ever wanted to be
Have you ever wanted to see
Someone better, in the mirror

Have you ever wanted to go
Have you ever wanted to know
Somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner